Ferragosto

O nursery rhyme, fly and go
to the kid who is left in town.
People who go to the seaside has a peaceful time
and make sand castles;
people who go to the mountains go climbing
and have a shower at the waterfalls…
And what about those who have no money?
They are left in town, all alone:
they may lie down on the sidewalk,
if there are no traffic wardens who can see them,
and their submarine boat
set sail into the manholes.

When I’ll be President,
I’m going to make a decree for all the people:
‟Ordinance number one:
no one is to stay in town.
Ordinance coming after that:
everybody to the seaside, it’s on us.
Moreover, the Alps and the Apennines
are to be donated to all the children.
He who does not abide by what is hereby decreed,
is to go to jail straight away”.

I wonder whether that tendency was always culturally conditioned, through rituals, religion, or through media and video games via the repetition of men in certain types of roles?

And yet, as a heterosexual woman, I don’t want a world without men. Not completely:) And to reduce men to a particular stereotype is simplistic, and doesn’t reflect the reality around me, of many types of male personalities and tendencies. Adopting a binary way of thinking (male vs female) is so limited, and we know now that gender is so varied and complex.

I’m really eager to read the Hueck book – if it can find a translator! – and see what others have to say here.

Thank you for the shout outs about the Olympic nursery (very cool to learn!), and the Ezra Klein episodes (I’m mainly a fan of his – though sometimes I get a certain vibe of arrogance or get irritated at why the Times doesn’t have another female or LGBTQ Opinion writer with their own podcast. – and I need to take a break. LOL.

I wonder if Hueck’s book or thought process touched at all upon homophobia, or how she imagined male sexuality…

Simona, thank YOU!
I love the idea of thinking about breastfeeding as “a two-sided adventure” — totally spot on. And I think this is why the idea of breastfeeding aversion resonated so much with me, and this is why I respect so much the experience of those who decide not to breastfeed because it is not for them. There is no one-size-fits-all strategy, far from it, and if one of the two parties is hating the experience, then why do we still push them to do it??
One question for you: did you experience negative comments around you for breastfeeding when Piero was “older”?
Good luck on your fleeting last months — however long they do last, and many thanks for being here!
Irene

Oh, I can’t tell how deeply this post resonates with me. I’ve been on a breastfeeding journey for four years now.

My eldest son, Piero, is four years old, and I breastfed him until he turned 3. Currently, I’m still breastfeeding my daughter Lisa, who will be 2 in July. I continued nursing Piero during my pregnancy with Lisa and tandem breastfed them for 9 months.

Then, I reached a point where aversion set in (that was most likely the time around which I discovered your writings), and I couldn’t keep breastfeeding Piero: I experienced physical discomfort and a strong aversion exclusively with him, to the point I kinda avoided propice-breastfeeding situations to happen. It was a difficult time, he didn’t hear any reason cause he seemed not ready for stopping, and perhaps he didn’t understand why his sister would keep taking my milk (even though I explained she was still very little –couldn’t have proper meal yet, didn’t have teeth either– which seemed to make sense to him).

I once heard that breastfeeding is a two-sided adventure, and it must be wanted by and a nice experienced for both sides to keep going. And that was not the case anymore, not for me. Despite being hearthbreaking to see him so desperately crying, I explained him that a new phase awaited us, and that we could still cuddle, just in a different way. On a side note, Piero never ever cuddled with me while breastfeeding (beside the moment he would take my milk, he wouldn’t hug nor kiss). He started to do so when that phase was over, and he’s now such a snugler 🙂

Lisa is now almost 2 years old. She would cuddle regardless of nursing, she kisses and hugs a lot, and from time to time she forgets to ask for milk. I feel it’s a completely different breastfeeding experience. On my side, I feel I am emerging from the early stages of motherhood, my career is regaining momentum and my body is slowly back in shape as well. I wouldn’t be surprised nor disappointed if Lisa decides to wean herself, but since it’s still manageable for me I don’t feel like putting an end to this adventure myself.

I’m taking this time to cherish these last months (whether it’s 1 or 18!) of breastfeeding, fully aware that this phase is fleeting. Days are long but years are short, isn’t it? However, I feel I am ready and willing to embrace the next chapter of motherhood and all the new adventures it holds with my little ones.

Sending you warm hugs and gratitude for putting words where words are so much needed.

Grazie,
Simona